At her funeral on 3rd May 2005 there was an outpouring of affection and respect for N’Deaye, from friends and colleagues all over the world.
She will be sadly missed especially by her mother Christina to whom she was very close. To her mother she used to say “ My lovely princess, I love you beyond all comprehension in all eternity and a day”.

N’Deaye was born in Gothenburg in Sweden and brought up as a single child by her mother as the parents divorced when N’Deaye was only 1 year old. At an early age she showed interest in acting, she was always the one who played the monkey at all parties and made other people laugh.

At the age of 8 she moved with her mother to Bavaria in Germany where they stayed for nearly 4 years. They then moved back to Sweden and a small town called Trollhättan. After the 9 years of compulsory school she began 3-years at high school where she took her A-levels in 1991. Shortly after she moved to London. As her English needed to be polished she worked for 2 years in different shops and restaurants and at the same time she took some evening classes in Drama.

In 1993 she was accepted by the Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art for a 3 year course. These years were hard for N’Deaye, as she didn’t get any grants from the UK, so she had to work as a waitress in the evenings at a private member club in Soho called Blacks. In 1993 her mother moved to London to be close to her daughter. In 1996 N’Deaye graduated as a fully trained actress and shortly after she got her first part in a television sitcom and a leading part in a feature film.

The years to follow were filled with work and she managed to be an actress full time, in 1998 she moved to Los Angeles. The 2 years she stayed in Hollywood were tough and she use to say that “the American dream only happens when you are asleep”. When her mother was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2000 N’Deaye decided to move back to London, where she joined the Gordon & French Agency and immediately got a television job. In 2001 she met Jonathan. It was love at first sight, 6 months later they moved to Somerset and got married in the summer of 2002.

It was here that N’Deaye began to have serious problems with her health, although there had been signs already in Los Angeles. In October 2002 she signed a 6 month contract with BBC for a part in ‘Casualty’. At the same time she bought a house in Bristol and the same day she and Jonathan moved in she was diagnosed with Lupus (SLE). She struggled through her work and over Christmas and New Year she was admitted to Bristol Hospital with kidney problems. Somehow she managed to finish the part with Casualty and in Spring 2003 Jonathan and N’Deaye separated. This was a big blow for her as Jonathan was her soul mate, but she said it was impossible to continue the marriage because of her illness. She sold the house and moved back to London where she stayed with her mother for a while until she had got a suitable place to live.

Through 2003 and 2004 she managed to work and never told anyone in the film industry or friends that she had Lupus. One day she was on the top of the world, full of energy and wanting to do everything and help everyone. The next day she had no strength at all and had to stay in bed.
N’Deaye had always searched for a higher meaning with life and the last years she came closer to God and this was a huge help for her during the time she was ill. Somehow it seems like she was prepared to go, even though she still had so much to give.

During 2004 she began to have more and more severe flare-ups from the disease and at the end of the year whilst filming ‘Jericho’ with Robert Lindsay her health took a serious change. As she was a very stubborn and determined young woman she was sure she would be able to go through this on her own without any stronger medication. She had by then signed a 14 months contract with Royal Shakespeare Company - the dream job of her life. Just before she was about to begin this job she went to Africa to see her grandmother in Senegal for the first time. N’Deaye was not really well enough for this trip but somehow she had the feeling she would otherwise never be able to meet her grandmother, so off she went. On 6th January 2005 she began training at the RSC. At this time she was complaining of a strong pain in her shoulder, also her legs and body were very swollen, even though she took high doses of diuretics.

On 9th January she had to go to A&E at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London because her upper lip was very swollen. She was sent home with the doctor saying that she was probably allergic to something. No blood tests were taken even though she told the doctor of her illness. By now she was so ill that she could hardly stand up because of pain in her back and shoulder. On 15th January she went to see a chiropractor, who told her that she had a strained muscle in her shoulder and who tried to pull the muscle right and sent her off home - after she had paid £50 pounds.

In the morning of the 16th January 2005 N’Deaye realised that she had to go to A&E again and it was on the same day as the screening of ‘Ahead of the Class’. N’Deaye sent her mother to see the film whilst she herself was admitted to the hospital. The doctor who saw her said “ It’s strange that you look so well but you are you so seriously ill”. She was diagnosed with severe pneumonia and kidney failure and was after a couple of days sent to the Renal Unit at Guy’s Hospital.

N’Deaye never got to leave the hospital where she passed away on 20th April. Her mother was with her every day and death was never far away. During this time she was taken to intensive care several times. Her body and internal organs were in total chaos and the doctors called her “An interesting case”. Her lungs, kidneys and brain were severe affected and she had, at some point, serious seizures. She was on constant dialysis and very strong medication. The doctors also gave a course of heavy chemotherapy to try to fight the Lupus.

Sometimes she was able to come home over the weekends. At these times she stayed with her mother who took care of her, but not once did N’Deaye give up hope about beating this disease, one way or the other. She would never really accept that she was ill. She found it very ironic that she and her mother were on chemotherapy at the same time. Never did she complain or lose her good sense of humour. But at 1.32pm on 20th April 2005 her body gave up with her mother and her best friend Wendy Douglas by her side. The cause of death was kidney failure and septicaemia due to Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.

N’Deaye passed away at the same time of the day that she was born. After her death her mother decided to make the film that N’Deaye so much wanted to make. The film is called “The Wolf Inside” and has been made in co-operation with Christina, the producer Ben Gooder at Tricky Film Productions and the St. Thomas’ Lupus Trust in London. It was shown at BAFTA on 4th March 2008 for 200 friends, doctors and celebrities. The meaning of the film is to spread awareness of Lupus as there is so little knowledge film wise about this complex disease. The film is a tribute to N’Deaye and all other Lupus patients who are so often misunderstood by the public, friends and sometimes even medical staff. If you want more information about Lupus please contact the Campaign Director Angie Davidson at the St. Thomas’ Hospital in London at 0207188 3562 or visit www.lupus.org.uk.

As N’Deaye was so found of water and her wish was to go and swim with dolphins, her ashes was spread in the sea at the Swedish West coast.
Christina has also published a book called “My Butterfly Secrets” which contains over 100 poems that N’Deaye wrote during her illness. It is a book about hope for life and close to death with lots of photos of N’Deaye from early childhood, with friends and colleagues.