Vissa av citaten har jag inte för de är superroliga, utan just för att de är så typiska simpsons-humorn :>




Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." 




Homer: Ahh, now to spend some quality time away from my family. 




Homer: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."




Homer: Alcohol, the cause of... Aaaaand sollution to all of life's problems




Homer: I'm usually not a very religious man, but if you're up there, save me superman!




[the city of Springfield is having an illegal party in the ocean, about 300 yards from American territorial waters]
Bart: [on megaphone] What are you gonna do now, Coast Guard? Huh? You can't arrest us or do anything to us. Lousy Americans...
Coast Guard: [on megaphone] We can't hear you. Come 300 yards closer. 




Homer: If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement. 




Marge: Who cut my brakes?
Homer: Oh, yeah. When I was fixing your car, I kinda spilled all your brake liquid. I didn't want to tell you, 'cause I thought you'd get mad. 




Homer: Oh yeah, Marge? I made a dollar.
Marge: While you were out making that dollar, you lost forty. And the plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO! Four day weekend. 




Social Worker: So, this is your room?
Lisa: Yes. My room is my sanctuary. My family members know that and respect that.
Bart: [runs in] Lisa, I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.
Lisa: [takes out stress ball and starts squeezing it] Just ten more years, just ten more years, just ten more years... 




[the Simpsons' drywall collapses and Maggie crawls out of it]
Homer: [in baby talk] Maggie. That's where you were, honey. You were hiding in the drywall, yes you were. Daddy's sure happy Social Services didn't see this, yes he is. 




Homer: What does "sequestered mean"?
Principal Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked, they're put up in a hotel so that they cant communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Principal Skinner: It's when the jury cant agree on a verdict.
Homer: And "if"?
Principal Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition of".
Homer: So "if" we get "deadlocked", we'll be "sequestered" at the Springfield Palace Hotel. Where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO. Ooh. Free Willy. 




Homer: [after observing Barney's movie] Wow, I'll never drink another beer again.
Vendor: Beer here.
Homer: I'll take ten.




Mr. Burns: I think I'll donate a million dollars to charity... when pigs fly.
[both Burns and Smithers start laughing, a pig flies by their window]
Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
Mr. Burns: Eh, I'd still rather not. 




[Upon receiving death threat letter written in blood]
Homer: Oh my God. Someone's trying to kill me. Oh, wait, it's for Bart. 




Homer: Please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them. 




Otto: Spell AC/DC!
Lisa: A-C-D-C
Otto: Nuh-uh! You forgot the lightning bolt.